Job Interview (for the cutest baby in the world)

These days, job hunting is hard. You have to have a good resume, good grooming skills and a great attitude if you want any chance at all of landing that job.

To help on his future prospects, Sage and I prep for his future job interview for the cutest baby in the world.

"Ok, Sage, the first thing is good grooming skills. You want to make a good first impression and even tho you ARE the cutest baby in the world, you have to convince those other idiots behind the desk that you are as well. So first impressions are mucho importante (and a third language is too, be we will get to that in time...). So, did you comb your hair?"

"Check."

"Ok, great. Now, let's look at your wardrobe. You gotta look chic, classy and cool. You got something in mind?"

"Right here, Daddy-O. My Auntie Jen always picks out the cool ones for me."

"Nice. But lay off the Daddy-O bit. Ok, your hair looks good, cheeks are kissable and your shirt is spot on. Now, onto your resume. They are gunna ask you about your experience...."

"But Dad, I have no experience! I am just 55 days old! All I have done is eat, poop, sleep and look cute."

"Don't worry 'bout that. That last part is the kicker anyway. Plus, everyone lies on their resume, so I will put in that you also speak 45 languages, can write with all 4 apendages, and have already started your own business. They never check these things anyway....

Ok, the next step is to listen intently to the drivel that they will talk about. Just listen politely and focus on their nose. You don't even need to really care about what they are talking about; just nod every now and then."

"Like this?"

"Great. That's it. Now...."

"Ohhhhh Booooringggg"

"Whoa! Hey! No blatent yawning tho! Those interviewers are idiots and are boring you to death asking inane questions, but you can't let them think they are boring you to death. At least you gotta cover your mouth a bit, ok?"

"Ok, much better."

"Dad, can I ask some insightful and relevant questions during this process or should I just shut up and look cute?"

"Good question, son. I was just getting to that part. You will indeed need to ask some questions related to the job like what is required for this (cush) job, what are the bennies, and how much is the salary, in addition to any stock options. You got that?"

"Yeah, what is a stock option?"

"Another good question. Ask Mom.

Now, the main part of this interview is to do what you are best at: to look cute. Let's practice."

"How's this?"

"Sage, I love you, but you're gunna hafta do better than that. There are indeed some cuties here waiting to land this job and we just gotta turn on the Cute Machine now. Ok? Try again."

"Better?"

"Much. But it may look too happy and silly. Remember, we want chic, classy and cool, right?

"Oh, right. How about this?"

"Nice. I think you got this one cinched."

"Heck yeah, Daddy-O. I'll be making more than you in no time!"