Isn't Sleep Supposed to be Easy?

Since I was born in Pig Year (1971), sleep comes easy to me. I wish I could say the same for Mommy, who seems to treat sleeping as a necessary evil (or at least it is hard for her to go to sleep usually). And now - for some reason - Sage seems to think that he is a big boy and can stay up all day without a nap; perhaps he just wants to hang out like the other adults.

But this has one drawback - the adults in his life now are exhausted and need sleep even more than he does it seems! So recently, Jo and I have been trying to master the arts of Making-Sage-Go-To-Sleep-After-Eating, and Napping-At-All-Hours-Of-The-Day.

We have tried a variety of ways as seen in the pictures below.

(1)

First, of course, is the patented Daddy-Burp-n-Throw (C) , inwhich the father figure tries to burp the baby and then if that does not produce the expected 'upper-flatulance' then you take the baby by the foot and swing him around a bit - you know, to loosen him up a bit more. Do this as many times as you have room for in your cluttered room.

Here, we are getting ready for the throw position....

Here, after the 'throw' Sage feels much more relaxed.


(2)


Next, we have another patented Cute-Baby-Cute-Chest-Tickle (C) which is simple enough. You pick up the unsleeping babe and hold them on Daddy's hairy chest, until they finally give in and capitulate. However, this capitulation does - admitedly - bring cries, to which you pop in a pacifier or other soft object that looks a lot like a pacifier...(if Mom is available).


(3)

Another often used remedy for sleeplessness is the (again) patented Massage-da-Tummy-Til-U-Hear-A-Noise (C) technique. Seen above, Sage is already in the right position and now we just have to apply some force....

...usually in a clockwise motion, with the occasional 'pat pat pat, bada bum, bada bada bum' drum rolling on his tummy, to you know, ease the pain.

Hell, yeah - another satisfied customer......but will it SLEEP?
Who knows?

(4)

Well, to answer that question, we must go to The Number 4.

Don't look like that - YOU KNOW YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF!

Yes, we are gunna stop playing around now - it is the patented "Oh, Look, I'm A Nice Hypnotized Sleeping Baby" method (C).

This works only as a last resort due to the extreme levels of concentration and energy expended.

You take said unsleeping baby.....

Look deep into it's eyes - but first try to ignore that initial cuteness - it is all a trick the baby will try to pull on you to go easy on it....

and continue to stare at it until it finally goes to sleep. It seems easy enough, but the baby has a huge latent arsenal of high tech weapons at their disposal. You are instructed to ignore them at all costs and keep to the mission, soldier!

Do not fall for any of the following ruses:

The "I'm Ready To Hurl, If You Don't Give Me More Milk" Look

The "Alright, I'll Play Nice......Suckah" Look

The "What Kind Of Parents ARE You That Would Do That" Look

To the most dreaded: "This Is A Yawn, But Could Just As Easily Be A Blood Curdling Scream" Look

So now I know, after (what seems like) years of trial and error, how to deal with a baby that does not want to sleep.

Any other suggestions?